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Parenthood, The Unpaid Job.
Parenthood is a full-time job, but it’s one for which we aren’t really compensated or evaluated in a substantial way.
What would motherhood and fatherhood be like if we treated it more like a job?
Compensation and Evaluation
Can you imagine a job that required you to pay thousands and thousands of dollars over several decades without any compensation in return (except a measly tax cut)?
Only parenthood fits that bill. There are so many aspects of parenting that require professional-level skills, from the art of the mess-free diaper change to the science of monster-under-the-bed extermination and more serious skills like providing boundaries and structure without going overboard.
You aren’t going to get regular performance reviews, bonuses and raises for doing this job, either. Stay-at-home and working moms alike often feel unsure about what they’re doing, and unlike the professional world, there really isn’t an established channel you can go through to validate your decision-making.
Nine To Five? Sounds Nice
There is not 9-5 Monday to Friday when you are a parent. This is a 24/7 365 day job.
Another aspect of parenthood that makes it more grueling than your average job? The hours. You’re never not a parent. Most people are able to walk away from their jobs and at least leave the bulk of their work behind.
Some upcoming projects or coworker conflicts might stay on our minds over the weekend. It’s usually actually better if we can compartmentalize and leave that behind. But for most parents, especially stay-at-home moms and dads, there are no breaks unless you get a babysitter or family member to step in and help.
And even then, you’re still on call 24/7.If only parents could get state-mandated lunch breaks (or shower breaks) and overtime compensation for late-night hours.
The parents’ union probably wouldn’t get very far in collective bargaining over this issue.
Ultimately, you’re in charge, and you’ve got to captain the ship even if its passengers are cranky and threatening a tantrum if they don’t get that box of cereal they want.
The Real Boss
Of course, saying that stay- or work-at-home moms aren’t being evaluated and compensated diminishes the role of the closest person to a “boss” you have: your kids. Your kids may not reward you financially (other than that tax cut) and they may not sit you down for a quarterly performance review, but they will let you know, often without even saying it, how you’re doing.
Their Success in Life is Your Reward
There is nothing more rewarding then a hug or kiss from your kids.
Ask any parent seeing their child graduate, accept a professional award or get married to the love of their life. There are untold riches waiting for you in the form of pride, joy, love and happiness.You don’t even have to wait a decade or two to cash in on your investment in your child. From the first step to the first day of kindergarten, you can celebrate your child’s successes and accomplishments alongside them.You can see every hug, every scrawled crayon drawing, as a token of love more precious than any paycheck.
You Might Also Like: 10 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms
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Diet Tips to Help with Fertility
Table Of Contents
Choose Plant Protein Over Animal Protein When You Can.
Choose Dark and Leafy Veggies
Whole Grains Over Processed or Refined Grains
Choose Healthier Fats and Oils
Increase your Daily Fiber Intake
Warm Foods vs. Cold Foods
Grab your Daily Citrus
Hydration is Key
Bromelain
Avoid the Bad Habits
There are so many things that can affect your fertility. If you're part of the growing population that is struggling with infertility problems, I have some diet tips that may help boost your fertility. Having struggled with infertility myself, I know the feelings of anxiety and overwhelm that you may experience throughout your journey.
Start by making these small changes to your daily diet.
Choose Plant Protein Over Animal Protein When You Can.
There was a study conducted by Harvard with 19,000 females who were trying to conceive. Through this study, the researchers found that women who consumed animal protein were 39% more likely to struggle with infertility problems than the women who consumed mostly plant protein sources.
Good sources of animal protein can be found in
Beans
Garbanzo Beans
Edamame
Vegetarian Chili
Lentils
Tofu.
Try grabbing any of these for a new recipe this week.
Dark leafy greens are high in folate, which helps with ovulation.
Choose Dark and Leafy Veggies
Folate has been found to help with ovulation. Dark leafy greens are high in folate, such as:
romaine lettuce
spinach
broccoli
arugula
If you have a problem ovulating, such as PCOS, this is something you really want to improve on.
Don't forget to share those leafy green food sources with your man. As you may or may not know, infertility isn't just a problem for the females, males can suffer from infertility too.
Men need certain things in their diet to help with their fertility too. When guys eat leafy greens, it helps promote healthier sperm production and may even increase the sperm count.
If male infertility is something you are experiencing as a couple, there are quite a few food sources that may help improve their condition.
Whole Grains Over Processed or Refined Grains
Whole grains are so good for fertility.
When you eat something like whole wheat bread versus white (sugary, refined and processed) bread, you are attempting to help regulate your insulin levels.
When you have processed and refined carbs and sugars, this can increase your insulin levels.
In turn this may interrupt the balance of your reproductive hormones. With an increased glucose level, this can decrease your chances of getting pregnant by up to 50% some studies say.
Salmon and other fish that are high in omega 3 fatty acids are great meat choices.
Choose Healthier Fats and Oils
Olive oil is a good source of a natural anti-inflammatory. Decreasing inflammation in your body can help you when trying to conceive and can even increase the blood flow to your reproductive organs.
Salmon and other fish that are high in omega 3 fatty acids are great meat choices.
Foods rich in this can help you regulate your reproductive hormones and also are great for increasing the blood flow to your uterus and other reproductive organs.
Omega 3 Fatty acids are needed for proper brain and eye development once you're pregnant.
They also help lower the risk of preterm delivery during pregnancy and lower your risk of developing preeclampsia.
But, please make sure to stay away from fish that have a high level of mercury in them. Check with your doctor to see what they do and don't recommend.
Increase your Daily Fiber Intake
Fiber is so great for when you're trying to conceive.
Fiber is known for helping your body remove toxins and excess estrogen.
Fiber can also help lower insulin levels. As you read early, insulin levels can create a huge impact on your reproductive hormones and in turn, your ability to conceive a healthy pregnancy.
Warm Foods vs. Cold Foods
Many holistic fertility providers have studied the impacts of warm and cold foods on the blood flow to your reproductive hormones.
Warm foods, like soups, provide more blood flow to the uterus. A "warm uterus" promotes growth, acceptance of a healthy pregnancy and good blood flow.
A "cold uterus" doesn't promote growth and acceptance and has poor blood flow. Some holistic providers may suggest that you stay away from cold foods like ice cream.
During the luteal portion of your cycle (after ovulation and before positive pregnancy test) you will want to eat "warming" foods. This will help increase blood flow to your uterus and other reproductive organs so they can help promote a healthy pregnancy.
Grab your Daily Citrus
Citrus foods like lemons, oranges and limes provide great sources of Vitamin C.
Vitamin C is a good source of iron as well. For the guys, Vitamin C has been seen to help improve sperm quantity, motility and morphology.
Foods can impact our bodies differently at different points in our menstrual cycle as well. During the time you think you are going to ovulate, you may find that your body needs more Vitamin B. Vitamin B helps support the release of a healthy egg from the follicle and promotes healthy implantation support of a new pregnancy.
Hydration is Key
Water, water, water. Not enough can be said about water.
At the very least, water can help promote hormone development to help you produce a quality follicle to release a healthy egg from.
Drinking the proper amount of water a day can also help with your cervical mucus.
Thinning out your cervical mucus during the right time of the month, as ovulation approaches, can help healthy sperm get to an awaiting egg without any added trouble.
Bromelain helps support a healthy implantation and reduces any inflammation
Bromelain
You may also read that many studies have suggested eating pineapple.
Pineapple contains bromelain.
Bromelain helps support a healthy implantation and reduces any inflammation throughout the body.
If you don't care for pineapple, some doctors recommend taking a bromelain supplement.
Avoid the Bad Habits
Steer clear of acidic foods like coffee, alcohol and an excess of meat.
Too much acidic type foods can cause changes in your cervical mucus and not make it an inviting environment for sperm, interrupting their safe and easy passageway to the egg.
Too much caffeine can impact your fertility and a developing pregnancy.
Obviously, ditching alcohol and any other habits like smoking are beneficial for your fertility and future pregnancy.
I wish you all the best of luck during your fertility journey. Know that you are not alone! Also note that I am not a doctor and am just sharing tips that have helped me conceive a healthy pregnancy and am sharing thoughts that my doctor shared with me when we were trying to conceive.
About the Author
Victoria Sharp is the founder of One Sharp Mama. She started the site to share stories about fertility, parenting, tips on organization and the occasional recipe. Basically, she wants to share any stories, tips, tricks and products that may help parenting life become a little easier.
This Article was brought to you in collaboration with Bellefit, the makers of the best postpartum girdles
Founded in 2008 Bellefit® is the most mom-trusted and awarded brand of postpartum girdles & corsets for recovery after c-section or natural childbirth. Bellefit® girdles come in five designs made using proprietary compression fabrics. Their unique design features triple-layered reinforced front and back support panels.
As a woman-owned company, Bellefit® is no stranger to the challenges new moms face during and after pregnancy. The company helps women feel supported and confident in their changing bodies.
Bellefit Girdles
How to Handle your Newborns First Cold
Your child’s first cold will be one of many. How you handle treating cold symptoms with your infant indicates how well you’ll do treating future illnesses. The key to a quick recovery is being prepared.
That means that you have the things on hand that you need for your baby. Preparing in advance prevents you from having to make a last-minute run to the pharmacy because you have a sick infant.
Stock Up on Must-Have Cold Fighters and Relievers
Pay attention to your baby’s symptoms to determine when you should take your baby to the doctor.
What you’ll want to have in your home during the cold season include saline drops, a forehead swiping or ear thermometer, a syringe with a rubber bulb, a humidifier, and medication that reduces fever in babies.
If the child is younger than three months old, you’ll first want to consult the baby’s physician to make sure that the things that you’re doing aren’t making his or her symptoms worse.
Older babies who continue to show signs of fever, dehydration, congestion or labored breathing should be taken to a doctor right away.
Suction Mucus from Your Baby’s Nose with Rubber Bulb Syringe
Add saline drops and irrigate the nose by removing any build-up of mucus with a syringe with a rubber bulb. It gives you a better grip and makes the process less stressful for the child.
You won’t further irritate their delicate system because you’ll be doing what you can to combat the cold.
Prop the Child’s Head Up with Towels Placed Under the Crib Mattress
Help your baby breath easier by raising the mattress.
Roll a towel or two and use them to prop the baby’s mattress some. You won’t want to put the items in the crib with the child because they cause pose safety risks.
Instead, use them to raise the mattress so that breathing becomes easier for your little one.
Use a Humidifier to Keep Air Moist
Dry air makes seasonal colds worse. Give your baby the gift of good health by investing in a humidifier that helps put moisture back into the air.
Doing so helps your child say goodbye to a dry, crusty nose and a deep cough.
Make Hydration a Priority
Hydration is key to help heal your newborns first cold
Breastfeed more often or provide your child with a few ounces of water in a sippy cup if they’re old enough to drink that way.
It’s imperative that the baby is getting enough liquid because if he or she doesn’t, they’ll get dehydrated fast.
Make time for extra breastfeeding or pump a few extra bottles for those just in case moments.
Take Charge During Cold Season by Being Prepared
Be prepared with the correct tools so that you are in charge of any illness your baby may get as they grow.
Handle your newborn’s first cold like a champ. Now that you know what to do to make that happen, you’ll be able to care for your baby as seasoned professionals do.
You’ll be better able to handle future illnesses when they occur, and you and baby will sleep better through the night. These are things that make it easier to get through the first cold your baby has. Once you’ve experienced it firsthand, you’ll have no qualms about dealing with the next bout of illness.
You’ll know exactly when to treat the child at home and when to take them to the doctor for additional care.
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This Article was brought to you in collaboration with Bellefit, the makers of the best postpartum girdles
Founded in 2008 Bellefit® is the most mom-trusted and awarded brand of postpartum girdles & corsets for recovery after c-section or natural childbirth. Bellefit® girdles come in five designs made using proprietary compression fabrics. Their unique design features triple-layered reinforced front and back support panels.
As a woman-owned company, Bellefit® is no stranger to the challenges new moms face during and after pregnancy. The company helps women feel supported and confident in their changing bodies.
Bellefit Girdles
Top Ideas for Nursery Rooms
Your baby’s nursery is more than just a room. It’s a space that they learn to become safe in. Their development during their first months of life depends on their environment. Therefore, the nursery is a place for growth, nursing, curiosity, entertainment, safety, and fun, too!
When deciding how to decorate your baby’s room, there are many things to consider. From choosing a theme to determining what type of crib they will sleep in, there are many factors that shape your decisions. Cost is one as well as personal likes and dislikes as what you’re into often dictates what your child will be into, too.
Here are Some of the Top Ideas for Nursery Rooms:
Vintage:
Think of the nurseries from your yesteryears. Depending on the decade you’re most interested in, you’ll find many vintage décor items at secondhand stores and on online auction sites. If you want your baby to live amongst things that you once owned as a child, you can find ways to tastefully incorporate your treasures among the other things you bought to decorate the space.
Clean design is perfect for baby girls and boys. Makes it easier to update as they get older
Scandinavian:
Clean, minimalistic design is what makes this theme perfect for baby girls and boys. It’s easy to update when the child gets older, too. Neutral colors combined with natural elements makes this theme one that people love. By keeping furnishings gender-neutral, cribs, swings, and even car seats can be handed down to the next child you have. They’ll get a great deal of use, and you can justify spending more on these items because they last.
Colorful nursery for you baby helps stimulate their minds
Bright and Cheerful:
Don’t be afraid to mix colors, patterns, and textures to create a virtual wonderland for the eyes. A bright and cheerful nursery gives your baby plenty of stimulation. It’s a happy place where your child will spend his or her first years of life. When looking for baby furniture to add to the space, choose bold colors or paint the items yourself. A hand painted dresser is a personal touch that everyone who sees the nursery loves.
Statement Sheets:
Highly illustrative, beautiful statement sheets for boys and girls are among the hottest trends available. Project Nursery included a photo of a sheet that reads, “You Are My Greatest Adventure” with a woodland scene. Details like this stand out among minimalist furniture. You could easily incorporate a statement sheet into any of the other themes listed here.
Oversized Decals for Walls:
The idea is to go big here. Really big. Oversized decals limit the amount of negative space there is on walls. It’s an easy way to add flair to a space without spending a lot of money, either. You will, however, want to choose removable decals so that you can update your child’s room as he or she gets older.
Choose decals that can be removed so you can change as your baby gets older.
Choosing a theme for your child’s nursery as a new mother is a truly intimate experience. It’s the first time you’ll be influencing your baby’s likes and preferences. The more they’re exposed to an animal or certain cartoon or book character, the more they’re familiar with it. You’ll find that your influence plays a role on what they choose to watch, read, and even play with as they grow older.
IVF 101: The Basics
Table Of Contents
Your Emotions During IVF
IVF 101: The Basics
Preparing for an IVF
The IVF Procedure
The Egg Retrieval
The Egg Transfer
Increasing your Odds of IVF Success
The Costs of IVF
The Physical Stuff
The Two Week Wait After Fertilization
Getting The Results
A Positive Result:
A Negative Result:
Your Emotions During IVF
Your emotions will be the hardest part of all of when going through an infertility treatment like IVF, and if you have been struggling with infertility for any amount of time, you already know this. One negative pregnancy test can feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest, yet each month, you manage to put it back together and open that same heart up to the same exact thing that tore it up. Add a bunch of jacked up hormones to the mix, and then you are really feeling ALL the feels.
When we invest more money into our fertility treatments, the cost of our emotions goes up too, and as we just discussed, IVF ain’t cheap.
During this time, it’s incredibly important to find support. Whether it be a friend, an infertility group, or even a cyber buddy. You will need someone to help you through this time. I promise you that.
Many doctors believe that depression in infertile women is vastly comparable to the same levels of those suffering from heart disease or cancer. So if you are feeling any of this, know that it’s completely normal. I also want you to know that the more you survive, the more you will trust yourself to survive whatever is coming.
Take it from me, someone who has survived 5 years of treatment, and even a failed egg donor cycle. Your heart gets stronger. Your mind gets stronger. You get stronger.
It’s important to have a plan for either outcome, negative or positive. I always told myself before any procedure that I was going to believe it worked, because I could always cry later when I had a real reason to cry. This worked for me.
I would literally grab a bottle of booze and have it nearby before peeing on the stick, so that if the test was negative I put that bottle to the face fast and hard. And if it was positive, then my husband got to drink it. Make sure to have a few days to yourself open in your schedule for after testing. You will need time to process the results, good or bad.
Please take this part seriously, your mental state is very fragile during this time, and above all, YOU need to be cared for.
Photo credit: jenperezphoto.com
Infertility treatment is a big undertaking and your entire world will revolve around it, understandably so. You will learn an entirely new vocabulary - things like TTC, IUI, IVF, FSH, PUPO etc. The new lingo on it’s own can be overwhelming. You will learn things about reproduction that, if you are like me, never learned in Sex-Ed class. You will start noticing things about your body you never realized before, because quite frankly the texture of your discharge just wasn’t important until now.
You will have to work hard and contribute to your TTC plan every dang day - whether it be doctors visits 5-6 times in a two week period, setting 3-4 alarms a day to remember your injections, choking down 35 different supplements every night, sticking suppositories and other weird stuff up your coot-coot, and examining your panties for egg whites like a mother-effing panty hawk, infertility will be your life. Because if you want to become a parent, it has to be.
Here are a few basics to help you understand IVF better. Oh, and by the way, IVF stands for "In Vitro Fertilization", but I’m sure you’ve got that one down by now.
IVF 101: The Basics
Photo credit: jenperezphoto.com
Preparing for an IVF
Once you have decided to move forward with IVF (in vitro fertilization) you will need to start preparing. Your mind, your body, your schedule, your life. Especially if you want this to work, and I know you do.
Preparing your mind is one of the most important parts to this process. Start creating a peaceful place for the embryo to live.
Meditate, take deep breaths, try acupuncture, diffuse and breathe in essential oils, take a walk on the beach.
Start visualizing the baby growing inside of you. The hormones are going to try to tell you otherwise, but don’t listen to them. They will try to stress you out, make you anxious, and bring you down.
Find a good meditation app or peaceful music to drown out those nasty thoughts. Have those ear buds on lock at all times!
Your body will take a lot of preparation, and your doctor will direct you on very specific treatment of ovarian stimulation for approximately 10-12 days with the goal of maturing several follicles (ie. eggs).
You will most likely be sticking yourself with needles during this time, so if you and your partner aren’t comfortable doing this, you will need to phone a friend. It’s important to stay organized and set alarms for your injections and medications.
Our days can easily get away from us and it’s easy to miss one. And let me tell you, when you miss one, the guilt is real. Been there, done that.
Many women like to prepare by gearing up with what I like to call “infertility armor” before going into battle. I sure did! Whether it be socks that say “hatch and attach”, a tank top with powerful infertility statement, or simply just rocking some fertility beads, find whatever makes you feel best going into your procedure. You are a warrior after all!
Make sure to arrange your schedule accordingly. Some doctors require a 3-5 day bed rest after the transfer procedure. If that’s the case, make sure you have someone to help take care of you. My mom flew out and cooked me delicious meals during my bed rest, and I definitely think that contributed to my success! There are a lot of old wives tales about eating McDonald’s french fries and pineapple cores, but in my experience, Mama’s home cooking was all I needed!
Photo credit: jenperezphoto.com
The IVF Procedure
With IVF, there are actually two procedures. The retrieval and the transfer. If you are doing a fresh transfer, these two procedures will happen a few days apart, but if you are doing a frozen transfer, you will have plenty of time to schedule the second part. Once the doctor has determined that your eggs are mature, you’ll be asked to take one “trigger shot” in the arse that causes ovulation to happen exactly 36 hours later.
Photo credit: jenperezphoto.com
The Egg Retrieval
This is the more invasive of the two procedures, where you are hooked up to an IV, which is used to deliver a local anaesthetic and put you under. Using a needle attached to a catheter, the doctor will suction the mature eggs out of each follicle and store them in tubes, where they await fertilization. The procedure itself only takes about 15-20 min. You will be kept for a little while longer for recovery and will then go home.
The Egg Transfer
The retrieved eggs are then introduced to your partner’s (or sperm donor’s) sperm in a petri dish to do the dance and ultimately fertilize. Your male partner will likely need to be “on call” for this, if you know what I mean. A fertilized embryo (or two) is then implanted in your uterus, usually the MVP player is selected, and the rest of the team is frozen.
You will get a photo of your beautiful, chosen embryo prior to transfer, and then most clinics allow you to watch the process on a monitor in the exam room to see the process happening. If you are anything like me, prepare to get emotional! There is something really beautiful about the process of watching your baby be placed inside of you.
Increasing your Odds of IVF Success
When going the IVF route, you are likely faced with this dilemma - to genetically test your embryos or not? Genetic testing (otherwise known as PGS, preimplantation genetic screening) is when one more cells are removed from an IVF embryo to test for chromosomal normalcy, the genetically normal embryos are kept for transfer, and the abnormal embryos are discarded.
Photo credit: jenperezphoto.com
The idea is that if you transfer genetically normal embryos you have a much better chance at getting pregnant, staying pregnant, and delivering a healthy baby without disease, disorder, or mutation. This is usually an optional step, however, some doctors are now requiring it. Mine did, and I’m glad he did. Implanting genetically normal embryos increases your odds of a positive pregnancy significantly. It also increases your odds of staying pregnant!
It does cost extra to do this testing, but had we skipped this step, and implanted abnormal embryos that didn’t stick, we’d be shelling out extra expenses for additional IVF transfers, more medications and injections, more doctors visits, etc. not to mention the cost of our emotions having to go through that all over again. You can’t put a price on that.
The Costs of IVF
Spoiler alert - IVF aint’ cheap! Duh, y’all knew that. Everybody knows that, right? Average IVF costs are around $12k-$13k, however if you add in some of the “extras” the price goes up. Here are a few extras you may encounter….
Photo credit: jenperezphoto.com
ICSI treatment – This is where a single sperm is injected directly into a mature egg, as opposed to placing many sperm together with the egg. This is typically done if there is an issue with the sperm, but some doctors, like ours, are using it as their go-to method. This could be an additional $1,500-$2k.
PGS/PGD Testing – As noted above under “increasing your odds” is an additional cost, but in my opinion, good money spent. Depending on how many embryos you have tested, this could get pricey. The cost is determined per embryo, and from my experience could range from $300-$500 per embryo tested.
Embryo freezing – Including the initial freezing and annual storage, this could cost an additional several hundred dollars. Yearly storage fees range anywhere from $200 to $800 per year. Think of it like paying rent for your babies.
Additional Transfers: If you have additional frozen embryos and want to use them, doing so is significantly cheaper than doing a complete IVF cycle the first time with the retrieval costs. The average cost for a frozen embryo transfer (FET) is about $3,000 – $5,000.
Egg Donor: If you plan on using an egg donor, like I did, the cost goes up significantly. I would plan on adding another $25k-$30k on top of the IVF cost. For our last, successful round with our egg donor, we ended up paying $45k all in, including the retrieval, meds for the donor and for me, the transfer, agency fees, legal, etc.
Sperm Donor: Using a sperm donor is much less expensive than an egg donor, costing anywhere from $200 to $3,000 extra. It depends on how many vials you purchase, how much info you get on your donor, etc.
Surrogacy: This is the MOST expensive add-on you can possibly encounter with IVF. If you include all the legal fees, agency fees, IVF costs, and payment to the surrogate, the cost can range anywhere between $50,000 to $100,000.
Embryo donation: This is the least expensive of the donor options, where you are purchasing a fertilized embryo that already exists. An embryo donor cycle costs anywhere between $5,000 and $7,000.
The Physical Stuff
Infertility is physically challenging and exhausting. Your body takes a beating on a regular basis and you are left with bruises and sometimes lifelong scars. Fertility medications can cause weight gain, water retention, insomnia, pelvic pain, headaches, hot flashes, hormonal rage, etc. It’s an evil way of your body making you think you are pregnant, but soooo not.
The physical pain is hard, but remember, it’s temporary and your scars could be someone else’s sign of hope one day.
Photo credit: jenperezphoto.com
The Two Week Wait After Fertilization
After your IVF transfer, the waiting begins, and, it’s effing brutal. It’s termed the “two week wait” but some doctors will do the hCG blood test at 10-12 days after the transfer depending on the stage of your embryo when implanted. It might not seem like a long time, but when that’s ALL you can think about, it’s the longest two weeks of your life. It’s important to stay busy, and do things that keep your mind off it.
For me, I just decided that the moment that embryo was inside of me, I was pregnant. I’m an all or nothing kind of person, so I just acted like a pregnant woman. Even though I didn’t really have any “symptoms” yet, I still believed it was happening. It was my only option. I told myself that I could cry later if I had a reason to, but for now, I’m going to live in this joy. It was the only time I got to “be” pregnant and I was going to live it up!
Many women can’t hold out to the date of the blood test and end up peeing on a stick at home way before it’s time. The problem with this is that you could get false results and end up heart broken for no reason, or falsely excited. And remember, your primary job during this time is to create a happy, peaceful environment for that baby to snuggle in. Why stress yourself out for no reason?
I ended up peeing on the stick, but only 24 hours before my blood test, so I figured I was in the clear. I wanted the joy of seeing the two pink lines. Boy, was I glad I did this. I had NEVER seen two lines before this day, and we got to have our own moment, in the comfort of our own home, the way “normal” couples do it.
Photo credit: jenperezphoto.com
Getting The Results
After the two weeks, you will be scheduled for a blood test to determine if you are, in fact, pregnant. Typically the doctor will test you in the morning and call you with the results that evening. This blood pregnancy test is frequently called a “beta” because the test measures a beta chain portion of the human chorionic gonadotropin or hCG hormone emitted by the developing embryo and is officially named a “beta hCG” blood test.
A Positive Result:
If your beta test is positive, your doctor will tell you the hCG level that your test showed. The beta test result is stated as a number that indicates the level of hCG found in the blood and this number will increase pretty rapidly in healthy pregnancies, so multiple beta tests will be ordered over the next few days to confirm the pregnancy is proceeding normally.
You’ll repeat the test in 2 to 3 days. The goal is to have the level of hCG double every 3 days. If it does, another beta will be ordered for 2 to 3 days later.
If all three betas show a healthy pregnancy, then an ultrasound will take place between the 6 to 8 week mark of the pregnancy. At that time, your doctor will be looking for a heartbeat and a gestational sac to confirm the pregnancy. This is typically when the celebrating begins!
A Negative Result:
If you get a negative result on your beta test, no doubt, you will be crushed. Cry your eyes out if you have to. You have a reason to be sad. You are grieving another loss. Allow yourself the time to work through emotions and grieve before you decide what to do next.
Sometimes this is a good time to take a break and reset.
Others, will jump right back on the saddle the very next month.
Find out what happened in your cycle that may have led to a negative. Be your own advocate and ask lots of questions about how you can improve your protocol for next time, should you continue.
Think of all the worse things in life that could be happening to you right now. I bet you can think of a lot, right? Be grateful you weren’t given one of those. Be grateful for all the other amazing things in your life that others dream of having. Accept that this is your struggle, and own it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn’t define you. It is NOT your fault. You will survive this.
Fight on Warrior! Your baby is worth fighting for. You are a mother in the making. You are a warrior. I can honestly say, that after all we have been through, all the pain, the financial debt, the deep emotional sadness, I still wouldn’t change a thing.
My baby wouldn’t be the same person if I hadn’t experienced infertility, my marriage wouldn’t be as strong, and neither would I.
I survived infertility, and so will you.
About the author:
Victoria Nino is the creator of ExpectingAnything (an infertility blog and resource site) and ExpectingEverything (a pregnancy and parenting blog). She started her infertility blog merely as a means to cope with her own infertility through writing and with the hope to give other women a voice who need it. After almost five years of struggling to conceive, and multiple attempts at fertility treatments, she and her husband finally got pregnant via an egg donor IVF, and is “expecting” July 24, 2018. She keeps it 100% real and has a way of finding humor in the crappy things in life.
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How Much Weight Should You Gain During Pregnancy?
Some women seem to gain very little weight while pregnant when others put on visible pregnancy pounds. If you’re not sure how much weight gain to expect now that you’re carrying a child, you’re not alone. It’s a subject worth discussing because many women just aren’t aware of what is deemed a safe amount of weight. Too much excess weight increases risk factors for hypertension, gestational diabetes, and complications during labor and delivery. In fact, in 2015, 47% of American mothers gained more than the recommended amount of weight suggested by their physicians.
If you don’t put on enough pounds, however, your child can be born prematurely or have a low birth weight. That’s why it’s so very important to track your weight at home and with regular doctor’s visits while pregnant. You can avoid the complications that occur with too much and too little weight gain.
Here is what you need to know about weight gain and pregnancy.
The normal range for weight gain is between 25 to 35 pounds but BMI is just as important.
Body Mass Index or BMI is very important in determining what is a safe amount of weight to gain according to your build. It is calculated by your height and weight which helps you understand what a safe amount of pregnancy weight to carry is.
Pacing your weight gain is imperative to prevent disease and complications.
You should only see a three to four pound weight gain during the first trimester. By the second trimester, however, you’ll gain more. Most women gain up to 14 pounds during this time. By the third trimester, there may be some weight loss, but the amount gained with the pregnancy should be about 10 pounds.
This amount increases if you’re carrying more than one child at a time. Keep in mind that multiples change these estimations. When in doubt, ask your physician for guidelines to follow if you’re carrying twins or triplets.
What to Expect states that a 30-pound weight gain consists of the following:
The baby himself or herself weighs 7.5 pounds.
The placenta weighs 1.5 pounds.
The amniotic fluid weighs 2 pounds.
The uterine enlargement weighs 2 pounds.
The maternal breast tissue weighs 2 pounds.
The maternal blood volume weighs 4 pounds.
The maternal fat stores weighs 7 pounds.
This gives you an idea of where your weight gain comes from.
Making sure your baby is getting adequate nutrition.
Nutrients and calories are essential for your baby’s health and growth. Make sure that you’re eating a well-balanced diet and taking the prenatal vitamins that were given to you by your OBGYN. That way, you’re protecting your child from birth defects, illnesses, and diseases.
Be conscientious about the food you consume while pregnant. Don’t give in to every craving that you have. Although you’re “eating for two,” be aware that there is too much of a good thing.
If you have concerns that you’re gaining weight too rapidly or haven’t reached your goal weight gain despite being pregnant for a while, speak to your physician. He or she will give you advice about diet and exercise.
Cute Maternity Clothes
Cute maternity clothes aren’t hard to come by. You just need to know what to look for in terms of quality, price, and comfortability. Once you know how to shop with these things in mind, you’ll have no problem outfitting yourself adorably while you’re pregnant.
This guide will help you find the cutest maternity clothes money can buy.
Opt for clothing with a lot of stretch.
The clothing that you wear doesn’t necessarily need to be for pregnant women. It should, however, be stretchy. You want it to have a lot of give. That way, you’re not smashing your belly in clothing a size or two too small.
Good advice: Look for stretchy knits as well as other breathable fabrics such as brushed cotton, bamboo, Lycra, and spandex. They’ll help regulate your body temperature and make it easier for you to move around. If you want to work out, these are the fabrics to look for.
Dress however you feel comfortable.
If you’re used to dressing one way but feel limited by your protruding belly, don’t let that stop you from expressing yourself through color, pattern, and texture. There are many loose-fitting clothing and accessories that you can invest in that add cuteness to your wardrobe. Remember that style is head-to-toe, so don that funky hat, put on those dangly earrings, and drape that colorful scarf around your neck because you can.
Good advice: If you normally wear solids but want to make a statement, choose accessories in cool patterns. You’ll find a wide assortment of options available that let you freely express yourself without overdoing it. Think animal prints, florals, sparkles, and geometrics.
Make sure your stomach is supported.
Cute clothes that give your stomach the support that it needs are easy to find. Look for a belly band which can be found on maternity jeans, skirts, and pants with ample stretch. The elastic should give some but not so much that it stretches out and loses its firmness.
Good advice: If you can try things on, great! If not, give the belly band the ol’ stretch test before wearing new clothing. Tug on it from all directions to see how much give it has. If it’s too tight, it will constrict the blood flow to your baby.
Invest in good, supportive undergarments.
You can smooth things out considerably with the right bras and panties. Bellefit Maternity offers Prenatal Support garments that help you look and feel your best. Worn under your cute clothing, our Prenatal Cami and Support Panty are comfortable, breathable, and easy to launder.
Good advice: Select bras and camis made from cotton. Make sure that they help support your back and shoulders. You should not, however, feel constrained by the undergarments because you’ll feel uncomfortable quickly.
Just because you have a belly doesn’t mean you can’t dress cute. There are many maternity brands that are both comfortable and stylish. Thanks to Bellefit, you’ll have the prenatal support needed to rock out your new pregnancy clothing. You’ll be the cutest mommy-to-be in the neighborhood!
Sleeping Problems During Pregnancy
Many pregnant women have issues sleeping. They can’t get comfortable, their mind wanders or their bodies hurt. If you’re experiencing sleeping problems during pregnancy, there are some things you can do to promote better sleeping habits.
You’ll want to get as much quality rest as you can because having a newborn interferes further with your sleep schedule.
The Need for Rest is Even More Important During Pregnancy
Rest is restorative.
It’s a necessary part of healing.
You’ll want to make sure that you’re able to get as much sleep as possible while you’re pregnant so that you don’t become ill.
Your Guide to Overcoming Sleep Problems
Consider this your guide to sleep problems during pregnancy. Being able to identify the source of interruption helps you come up with the best solution to meet your needs. The following issues are ones that commonly occur when you’re carrying a child.
You’ll want to make sure that you’re able to get as much sleep as possible while you’re pregnant so that you don’t become ill.
Discomfort
As your stomach grows and your feet swell, it can be very difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position. If you’re used to sleeping on your stomach, it’s no longer an option.
You may need to invest in a pregnancy pillow so that you’re able to sleep on your left side while propping up your knees with part of the u-shaped body pillow.
To combat the urge to pee all night long, cut back how much you drink before bedtime.
Frequent Urination
Your baby may be constantly pushing on your bladder. To combat the urge to pee all night long, cut back how much you drink before bedtime.
Doing so helps you eliminate the up down routine you have all night with a full bladder.
Take time to wind down before bed.
Insomnia
Take time to wind down before bed. Soak in a warm bath, put some scented lotion on, turn down the blinds, and listen to soft music. Before you know it, you’ll be falling to sleep with ease.
Avoid eating anything for at least two hours before bedtime.
Heartburn
Avoid eating anything for at least two hours before bedtime. Keep your meals somewhat bland. Don’t eat anything too spicy or acidic as it can cause stomach upset and heartburn once you’ve laid down.
One solution to leg cramps is to up your intake of calcium and magnesium.
Leg Cramps
This issue usually occurs during the second half of your pregnancy as weight gain compresses blood vessels.
One solution is to up your intake of calcium and magnesium. You’ll find plenty of foods that are rich in vitamins and minerals that won’t upset your stomach and help ease the pain in your legs.
When to Seek the Help of a Medical Professional
Now that you know how to deal with sleep problems during pregnancy, you’ll have an easier time falling and staying asleep. You’ll have fewer instances of insomnia because you’ll have solutions that work effectively for you. If sleep deprivation occurs for long periods of time, it could significantly affect your pregnancy in a negative way.
Let your doctor know of any changes in your sleep pattern.
That’s why it’s important to let your doctor know of any changes in your sleep pattern and also what you’re doing to help yourself reach a place of restful slumber. They’ll put the information in your chart and use it to diagnose additional problems with sleep that you might have in the future.
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Is Sex Safe During Pregnancy?
During your pregnancy, you’re going to have a lot of questions that need to be answered. One, in particular, may be pressing. You might be wondering if it’s ok to have sex with your partner while carrying a child. If you don’t already possess this knowledge, it’s important to know the answer to this question before you have intercourse while pregnant.
It is safe to have sex while pregnant. It does require you to be inventive, however. The more weight you carry with your child, the less comfortable your go-to position may become.
The Most Common Sex Positions for Pregnant Women
Some of the most common sex positions for pregnant women include Man on Top, Woman on Top, Side-Lying, and Rear-Entry.
Each has its own benefits and some can be done throughout the later stages of pregnancy without a woman’s belly getting in the way.
To thoroughly enjoy intercourse in these positions, there are a few things you should know in advance.
4 Positions to Make Sex Safe During Pregnancy:
Make sure no pressure is placed on stomach when having intercourse with the man on top.
Man on Top
This position is best for very quick sex. It’s important that no pressure is placed on top of your stomach, however.
Your partner should be able to support his own weight with his arms to keep from smashing the baby.
Woman on top is the best position for a pregnant woman who is not far along in her pregnancy.
Woman on Top
A pregnant woman’s favorite, the missionary position keeps pressure off the stomach and allows for deeper penetration and a better overall experience for both parties.
Again, this is a position that is best for women who are newly pregnant or only a few months along.
Side-laying intercourse allows the pregnant stomach to not be an issue. This position is preferred for when you are farther along in your pregnancy.
Side-Laying
Laying front-to-front or front-to-back can be very comfortable. Your partner spoons you while entering you.
Your stomach isn’t an issue with the front-to-back position.
The front-to-front position is better during the earlier stages of pregnancy when your belly isn’t big.
This is the best position as your stomach isnt a factor.
Rear-Entry
This position provides greater comfort because your belly isn’t a factor.
You can engage in some sexy role-playing, too, as explained by What to Expect.
Pretending that he is a police officer who wants to search you from behind can spice things up a lot.
These sex positions are best for pregnant women because they still allow you to enjoy the act without harming yourself or your baby. Your partner will enjoy himself, too, and not have to wait until your child is born to have intercourse again. Give one of the positions a try to see if it is something you’d enjoy doing repeatedly.
Then, after your baby is born, you can go back to other positions if you’d like. You may find that the new positions you’ve tried are far more adventurous and comfortable. Getting feedback from your partner is also important to see what he enjoyed.
Decide Which Positions are Best and Worth Repeating
If you decide to have sex during pregnancy, you want to make sure it doesn’t hurt you or your baby in any way. Try varying you or your partner’s position to make it more comfortable and enjoyable. There are plenty of ways to have sex while pregnant. It’s up to you to determine which positions feel best and are worth repeating.
Gender Reveal Ideas
You don’t have to look far to find the internet full of gender reveal ideas. They’re pinned to Pinterest, shared on Instagram, and documented through Facebook Live videos. The pregnancy parties range from simple to elaborate with some ideas reaching viral status thanks to the millions of views they get on YouTube.
A Guide to Different Ways to do a Gender Reveal of Your Baby
Use this guide to help you plan your own gender reveal party. It’s full of fun and exciting ideas that include your family and friends. You’ll have a blast planning and throwing a gender reveal party in anticipation of your baby’s birth.
Include your family in your gender reveal , this is a way to welcome your baby to your family.
Making Your Family and Friends a Part of the Occasion
It doesn’t matter if you're planning a small or gigantic event. One fact remains. A gender reveal party is something that you want because it serves as a formal welcome party for your baby. It allows you to share your experience with the people who are closest to you.
You can use a piñata to do your gender reveal. It can be store bought or a DYI project.
A Piñata Party
If you want to add to the element of surprise by being blindfolded and smashing a piñata open together, a piñata party is where it’s at.
You can make your own piñata easily using balloons, strips of newspaper, and homemade glue made from water and flour mixed together.
You can then decorate it however you want using colored tissue paper.
Bonus Idea: Fill the piñata with pink or blue colored toys and candies that the kids can have after you’ve broken it open.
Build-a-Baby
This fun idea involves a Build-a-Bear stuffed animal and two sets of clothing, one meant for a girl and the other meant for a boy.
Before the reveal, the toy is dressed in the appropriate set of clothing.
When revealed, the couple can hold up the bear dressed in pants or a dress to share the gender of the baby
Bonus Idea: Give the bear away in a drawing at the end of the party as a way of thanking everyone for showing up.
Have your guests wear a pink or blue pin or ribbon with pin to see what they think the baby’s gender is.
Guessing Game
Create different colored ribbon pins and place them in bowls around the party location.
Ask everyone to grab the color of their choice as a way of guessing the gender of the child.
You’ll be able to see who guessed that the baby was going to be a girl by the number of pink ribbons you see on people’s clothing.
The same goes for boy guesses because there will be a sea of blue ribbons wherever you look.
Bonus Idea: Offer a prize to one of the “winners” by handing everyone who guessed correctly a number and using a randomizer on your phone to pick a person to reward.
Learn the Gender of Your Child If You Don’t Already Know It
Gender reveal parties are a popular way to celebrate the arrival of a newborn child. They allow a couple’s family and friends to take part in the celebration. Also by having them try to guess the sex of the child. Sometimes, the parents don’t know the gender of their baby which adds an element of surprise to the occasion.
Zika Virus and Pregnancy: What You Need to Know
There are many things women who are pregnant need to be wary of. The Zika Virus, caused by a mosquito bite and spread to fetuses, is one very important infection to acknowledge and avoid.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there are factors that increase your chances of being infected by the virus including your geographic location, the places you’ve traveled to, and the travel history of your sex partner.
Ask your doctor how to prevent getting the Zika Virus while pregnant.
You May Not Show a Single Symptom of Zika Virus
Symptoms may or may not be present in an infected person. The likelihood of passing it to your child while pregnant, however, is great. Serious birth defects can occur while the fetus is developing which significantly changes both you and your baby’s life dramatically.
Zika Virus is spread by mosquitos bites.
What to Expect from the Highly Contagious Infection
Here are some of the things you should know about the Zika Virus and pregnancy:
The infection causes microcephaly and other brain defects in fetuses.
It is most often spread by mosquitoes.
It can be passed from partner to partner if they choose to have sex without a condom and a person is infected.
There is no way to get rid of the virus or treat it.
The more you know about the virus, the better prepared you are to avoid getting it. There are some tips that the CDC offers pregnant women and women who are trying to get pregnant when it comes to the infection. The next section addresses these things.
Avoid traveling to certain areas of the globe with high risk of Zika Virus.
Protecting Yourself from the Zika Virus
There are many ways to protect yourself from the Zika Virus. The CDC offers the following recommendations:
Refrain from traveling to areas of the globe with high risk for the Zika Virus.Refer to the CDC’s website for more information about countries with high-threat for the infection.
Practice safe sex with condoms. Birth control alone will not help prevent the virus. Condoms are not 100% effective in preventing pregnancy, either, so keep that in mind.
Prevent mosquito bites. Take the steps necessary to address mosquito populations inside and outside the home.
Inform your doctor about your travel plans. See how he or she feels about you traveling while pregnant.
Taking preventive measures to avoid getting the Zika Virus is recommended especially while pregnant.
These precautionary measures can help you avoid getting the Zika Virus or passing it onto someone else. If you are pregnant or plan to get pregnant soon, you won’t be putting your unborn child at risk. The more you know, the better prepared you are to avoid the Zika virus.
Safeguarding Your Pregnancy
There are many things that threaten the health and well-being of your unborn child. The Zika Virus doesn’t have to be one of them. Doing your part to avoid getting the infection is the key to preventing brain defects in your baby.
Avoiding places where there is a high risk of the virus is highly recommended.
Going the extra mile to avoid mosquito bites by wearing long-sleeved shirts and pants, using pregnancy-friendly insect repellants, and getting rid of mosquito populations outdoors by removing sources of water and keeping screened-in windows and doors in good condition helps tremendously.
Co-Sleeping Vs Crib-Sleeping
As a parent, you’ll make the all-too-important decision to co-sleep with your child or have them sleep in a crib alone. There are advantages and disadvantages that come with both options. Some parents swear by co-sleeping while others prefer that their babies crib-sleep. Whatever your choice may be, know that it’s up to you to make the final decision.
A Parent’s Take on Co-Sleeping and Crib-Sleeping
The differences in opinion about co-sleeping and crib-sleeping are like day and night. Parents who sleep apart from their children f eel helpless and that they aren’t able to bond as well with the infant. Those who choose to have their baby sleep in a crib, do so because they’re concerned about safety warnings about S.I.D.S.
The perfect sleep solution doesn’t exist. Most parents don’t feel well-rested no matter where their child sleeps. If you think that your baby won’t cry when he or she feels startled, scared, wet or hungry because they’re in bed with you, you’re wrong. You’ll find that this hot-button topic gets people arguing faster than political subjects. Some parents feel their way is the best and that parents that don’t show their views are wrong. This is, of course, a matter of opinion and not one based on scientific or medical knowledge.
Co-Sleeping
Parents who have been there and done that report the following about co-sleeping:
The baby’s needs are better met when sharing a bed.
A baby cuddled next to you is among the sweetest sights you’ll see.
Hearing movement and breathing gives some parents peace of mind.
Having the child next to the parent while the other parent is deployed with the military is soothing.
These are, of course, statements based on opinion and personal experience alone. There is no proof that this method of sleeping Is better than crib-sleeping. It’s what works for some families with babies and small children.
Crib-Sleeping
The parents that swear by crib-sleeping state:
The look on the baby’s face after sleeping in his or her crib and then seeing mom and dad enter the room is priceless.
The baby isn’t disturbed by all the getting up and down the parents do all night.
The parents can be intimate and not just caregivers for the baby.
It’s one less transition that the child has to make throughout their lifetime.
Babies who sleep with their parents often grow into older children who sleep with their children, but crib-sleeping puts a stop to that.
Again, if this method of sleeping works best for your family, great! There is no judgment when it comes to how you get your infant to sleep through the night. If monitoring through a baby monitor is a better solution for you and your spouse, by all means, do it your way.It doesn’t matter if your Team Co-Sleeping or Team Crib-Sleeping. The important thing is that your baby is comfortable and safe wherever he or she sleeps. If you have an infant sleeping in a crib in another room in the house, a video baby monitor allows you to check in on them without disturbing their sleep.
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